anonymousinmaryland's Blog

Did you see Dear Abby’s column this week about lil’ Duncan “inspecting” the dresser drawers? In case you didn’t, Duncan had an (according to Abby) an “unhealthy” fixation on this lady’s underwear drawer, or he may have been a cross dresser. Boy did that bring back memories. What wonderful items we found, and the aromas, and the soft cup bras, the panties, the girdles, heavy duty garter clips . . . I could go on and on and on. Couldn’t wait for the next invite to watch “Johnnie” for the evening. Yes, I confess. I may have been a lil’ Duncan. How about you?

Well, I went to a local fast food place (the one with the golden arches) for lunch. Had my usual chicken salad and a diet coke. While sittin’ at the counter, a momma with her lil’ (maybe 3 y.o.) girl comes out of the play area to get her child a “little” ice cream cone. You’ve seen them: the cone is about one inch round, and maybe one inch tall, and they put one inch of “ice cream” (yogurt) on it and the child is delighted. But the sales lady says, “Sorry. We’re no longer doing that!” Mom and the lil’ girl unhappily walk away dejected. I figure this store makes, what, a thousand dollars a day profit and they STOP giving the little (what, 25c?) cones away??? Come on, give me a break. Whatever happened to “You deserve a break today?” Are they hurting THAT bad?

Now I don’t have any grandchildren to share this little pleasure with. But it sure ruined my afternoon. I’ve been grinding my back teeth ever since. Is it just this store, the owner’s group of franchises, or is it nationwide?

And to all those that thought this was going to be about something else, please accept my apology.

Sorry. I can't make the mature content line go away. Original title was Hard times. So I changed it to Soft times, and the mature content line went away. Go figure. Huh? How can I lead you people on with  a title like soft times? Just think about it. Anyway . . .

So I didn’t write about her third chemo day or the 7-10 day period after. No changes. What is good is to see her bouncing back four days before her next chemo. She even went to work for three days (good for the mind).

Then six hours taking chemo and we go home. Another hour goes by and her mouth is already yellow with thrush. She has a sore on her gum, and she crawls back into bed for three days. So sad to see everything go downhill.

Her spirits are better than mine: I don’t care if I “dress” or not. Damn cancer. Two more chemo sessions, every three weeks, She’ll have 30 days off, and then 30 days of radiation. Somehow we’ll get through this. My roller coaster ride is at the bottom at the moment.

OK, so the holiday is over, friends and family have left the building. Back to the top two dresser drawers first thing in the (cool) morning. Ah-h-h-h. The wrap, the hooks, the straps. That's better. And now the panty. Great. Ok. Quick check in the mirror. Inhale. Check everything. Exhale. Side view: interesting. Definitely feel better and (I keep telling myself) looking better. Have to work on the tummy. More exercise and walking, and remember to push myself away from the table. On with my day. And I hope you have a great week, too. Oh, yes, it is Tuesday. Oh well, minor detail.

I went and voted in the primary election today. I can almost assure you I was the best (under) "dressed" guy in the local elementary school. I can say this, because at 2 pm, there were more people working there than local residents voting, that's for sure. Hopefully, things will pick up and everyone will be busier after quitting time. Exercise your right and priviledge, and go vote.

Woke up to a very cool morning. Decided on a high-waisted long leg panty girdle. Feeling the pinch, as they say. Need more walkin; 'n' bendin (and just more exercise). Although the HWLLPG feels great (always does, to me). And I chose the black underwire bra. Just feels good. That's all I can say. Hopefully it'll be a 12-hour day for both. We'll see. And I hope you're happy with your choices today, and this week, too.

Ahhhh. The warmer, nicer, Spring weather. Heavy coats and jackets come off. Lightweight and sleeveless blouses become the norm, which means more straps, hooks, and cups making their way to the forefront of women all across the area. So nice. Thank you to all of the beautiful women who dress to show, and tease. Men from 17 to 70 appreciate it. And if I think about it, I guess many women appreciate it, too.

She’s back to work for a couple of hours before PT or OT (occupational therapy). Guess it isn’t the same since they call it different. Next chemo is a week from tomorrow, and June can’t get here soon enough so we can move on with our lives.

So anyway, spring has sprung (too early); everyone will be crying water shortage since we had NO snow and the wells will be down; I am thankful for about six hours of bra-wearing time daily before I have to go the t-shirt route for the rest of the day. Enjoy what you get to wear, and try to get out, even if the crooks are charging $4 a gallon.

More later, my friends. Thanks for sticking with me.

Tuesday 6th. (Round 2 of chemo).There all day, 10am-5 pm. Back Wed for the shot. Taking so many pills. Friday morning: down again for the 8-count. Same symptoms as last time. Low grade fever. But we have the meds here at home this time. Now it’s Monday, she’s “climbing out from under the rock.” Even a trip to occupational therapy today. Two chemos down, four to go, plus six radiation treatments. Making progress. Many complements on her wig (no I didn’t get one.) Just happy for the occasional bra-wearing time that I get. But the darn weather: (smile) it’s going to be in the 70’s all week. Guess I’ll survive, somehow. More later. Best wishes.

Hospitalization. White blood count down too far, with an infection. Hospitalized five days. Which brings us to Monday the 27th. Good as new. Hair beginning to come out in groups of ten strands. Easy with the brush. Attitude good. Feeling good. Even back to work for a couple of hours a day. Hopefully good until the March 6 second round of chemo. So not much time for the "fun to wear." But that's OK. It'll still be there in June, when the chemo ends, and the radiation begins. And after that.

To all of my readers, looks like I'm going weekly here unless things get easier with the chemo. So best wishes to you, be safe, wear all you can, and have fun. Til next time.

I'm sorry I haven't been able to post, but I have been dealing with round one of chemotherapy with my wife. The first day (yesterday) was an all day experience. Everything went well, and today's gone pretty good. We had to go back for a shot and tomorrow we go back to see the surgeon that inserted the port. Chemo is every three weeks, and then probably six rounds of radiation. And the prescriptions: we have more drugs here than the local pharmacy. So far, everything's going as planned. Tomorrow (day three) is supposed to be the "sick day." So we will see. Bear with me (wished it was bare) but right now my time is OUR time. More later.

Over the weekend I did get some “bra wearing time” and it was wonderful. On Saturday I had a 9-5 day “dressed,” and on Sunday I got to wear a bra 4 hours and be myself. Have to work at getting back to 17/7, but don’t want to push the envelope.
 
Meanwhile my wife is working on her bra time as well, with the new prothesis. She needs to wear it a half hour longer than the day before to get used to the weight of a breast again. If you haven’t seen the latest prothesis, I’ll tell you it feels real, it’s as soft and as firm as the real one, and if you look, and you didn’t know, you couldn’t tell one from the other. It’s amazing how far they have come along with all of these things.

Today we went shopping (at the cancer patient store). She got a wig, a couple of cotton skull caps (don’t know the proper name) to sleep in; a couple of “do rags” (again I don’t know the proper name); a couple of hats, and a couple of Amoena brand bras. Really very soft and pretty. Then we went to an early dinner, and then she's outta gas. Going to take time. But we got a lotta time. And I got ( 9 ) hours of bra time myself. Oh, it felt so-o-o-o good. (And proper.) Have a great weekend, everyone. 

Today a friend came over and spent most of the day with my wife. So since I had the "day off," I dressed and went to the Harrisburg Auto Show. Ahhhh, the wrap, the hooks, the shoulder straps, a dark dress shirt and out the door. OMG! It felt so-o-o-o good to be wearing and away from doctors offices and appointments, and a chance to breath and not think the big C. But now I am home, and back to reality. More later. Thanks for reading my blog.

She needs physical  therapy for her left arm. They took out 29 lymph nodes and 6 were positive. She has limited use now of her left arm. The armpit area is more sore than the two incisions. But her attitude is good; not worried about the hair loss that begins 8-10 days after the first session. After chemo she will have radiation.Ahh, only six months to go.

Been through the vows:  for better, or worse, in sickness and in health. 38 years kinda covers all of that, ya know? But never this kind of sickness. I need more tickets for the (emotional) roller coaster. Stay tuned.

Healing. Acceptance. What a ride on an emotional roller coaster. What about the future? My wife and best friend just lost a breast. But she has a good attitude about it. We are between a mastectomy and the first chemo treatment. It’s hard to receive half a hug. And I can’t squeeze back. Fast days and long evenings.
 
The warm and quiet time together hasn’t taken place for quite a while now. At times, I am on my roller coaster as well. Have to prepare for the next four months. Lots of reading material to go over, plus tax prep.
 
This afternoon I tried to get caught up on EP. I just look at my dresser drawers and wonder about the future. Stay tuned.

Well, we're home from the hospital. Nothing out of the ordinary mastectomy and removal of lymph nodes. The shock has worn off; know chemo is next and maybe a 50/50 chance of radiation. Reconstruction surgery in one year. She is up and around, and doing amazingly well for one who's lost a breast. Nothing at all has been said about my "hobby," and right now, I don't really care. I just want another 20 years with my girl. She's all that matters right now. More later, I promise.